Deciding our future
Up to now most of our decisions were very limited by the structures we lived in, our family, the school and the university. Having finished our studies at the university and being married, we had now to make our own decisions to organize our life. The first decision concerned the country we wanted to live in. A connected issue was of course the nationality we would choose. The third very fundamental decision was whether we wanted to have children. Below we say a few words about these fundamental decisions we have made.
The country to live in
The last year in Utrecht we were of course talking about the question where we would live after our marriage. Given the language problems it would be likely that Willem would easier get a job in the Netherlands than in Austria and I easier in Austria than in the Netherlands. Being in Austria again for my dissertation I indeed received several offers for academic positions. In principle we were both willing to live in our own country or in the country of the partner.
For me a very important issue was that living in the Netherlands I would be farther away from my mother so that she could not interfere all the time in my life, what she definitely would do, if we would live in Austria.
This last point was the most important reason why we decided that we would go to live in the Netherlands. So far I did not have had bad experiences living in the Netherlands.
The nationality issue
Given that we had chosen to live in the Netherlands the next issue concerned the nationality. In principle I could keep my Austrian nationality but by my marriage with a Dutch man I also could get the Dutch nationality. It was even in principle possible to have both nationalities, but that was reserved for very important persons such as football players. Willem was very much in favor that I chose for the Dutch nationality because one does not know what would happen in the future. If there would be a war again in Europe it would be better that we had the same nationality so that we couldn’t be separated for political reasons. I had no problems to get the Dutch nationality. I would remain anyway Austrian from origin and in my world orientation.
The country to live in
The last year in Utrecht we were of course talking about the question where we would live after our marriage. Given the language problems it would be likely that Willem would easier get a job in the Netherlands than in Austria and I easier in Austria than in the Netherlands. Being in Austria again for my dissertation I indeed received several offers for academic positions. In principle we were both willing to live in our own country or in the country of the partner.
For me a very important issue was that living in the Netherlands I would be farther away from my mother so that she could not interfere all the time in my life, what she definitely would do, if we would live in Austria.
This last point was the most important reason why we decided that we would go to live in the Netherlands. So far I did not have had bad experiences living in the Netherlands.
The nationality issue
Given that we had chosen to live in the Netherlands the next issue concerned the nationality. In principle I could keep my Austrian nationality but by my marriage with a Dutch man I also could get the Dutch nationality. It was even in principle possible to have both nationalities, but that was reserved for very important persons such as football players. Willem was very much in favor that I chose for the Dutch nationality because one does not know what would happen in the future. If there would be a war again in Europe it would be better that we had the same nationality so that we couldn’t be separated for political reasons. I had no problems to get the Dutch nationality. I would remain anyway Austrian from origin and in my world orientation.
Children or no children
In the late sixties, especially in the Netherlands, it was very common to start quickly a family after marriage. But Willem and I, we were an unusual couple. We were interested in scientific investigations and knew that we would have to learn a lot more in order to realize this. With children, it was obvious, I would have to stop with my ambitions. When we were discussing this topic Willem said: “First you would devote you entirely to the kids, but afterwards you would regret having given up your intellectual aspirations”. He looked at me and laughed: “I also would like to get enough attention from you!” So I remarked: “Perhaps it is more in line with our characters and aspirations to go for a career and take care of each other!” For both of us this argument was sound and we never felt to revise this decision. But this does not mean that we don´t like children. We like them a lot if they belong to other people and we have to care for them only a few hours.
In the late sixties, especially in the Netherlands, it was very common to start quickly a family after marriage. But Willem and I, we were an unusual couple. We were interested in scientific investigations and knew that we would have to learn a lot more in order to realize this. With children, it was obvious, I would have to stop with my ambitions. When we were discussing this topic Willem said: “First you would devote you entirely to the kids, but afterwards you would regret having given up your intellectual aspirations”. He looked at me and laughed: “I also would like to get enough attention from you!” So I remarked: “Perhaps it is more in line with our characters and aspirations to go for a career and take care of each other!” For both of us this argument was sound and we never felt to revise this decision. But this does not mean that we don´t like children. We like them a lot if they belong to other people and we have to care for them only a few hours.
In search of a job
To find a job for me in the Netherlands was even tougher than I thought. Foreign married women with my background had in the late sixties hardly any chance to get an academic job, besides teaching in grammar schools. But I never had wanted to become a teacher and also had no Dutch certificates.
After applying in vain at history departments for a position, I started a course for archivist because in archives there were plenty of vacancies. From Austria I knew that archivists did do also historical research in addition to their regular work. Next to the course I had to do a practical training in an archive. After encountering some refusals I got an unpaid training place at the archive of Utrecht to classify documents of German missionaries, the Hernnhütters, in the Dutch colony Dutch Guyana or as it is called now "Suriname". This work was very dull and I got little help. Besides that non-academic trainees hated the academic ones and created an atmosphere full of intrigues. One day the director of the archive inquired about my progress and then said to me: “I am wondering why a young lady like you is doing this boring work! Wouldn’t it be more appropriate to start a family than to end up as archivist in a small dusty archive? In important archives we don´t give positions to married women since we run the risk that they leave us soon and then our training efforts were in vain.” I was astonished, but at least I knew what my career prospects were. Together with Willem I decided to quit the archive.
To find a job for me in the Netherlands was even tougher than I thought. Foreign married women with my background had in the late sixties hardly any chance to get an academic job, besides teaching in grammar schools. But I never had wanted to become a teacher and also had no Dutch certificates.
After applying in vain at history departments for a position, I started a course for archivist because in archives there were plenty of vacancies. From Austria I knew that archivists did do also historical research in addition to their regular work. Next to the course I had to do a practical training in an archive. After encountering some refusals I got an unpaid training place at the archive of Utrecht to classify documents of German missionaries, the Hernnhütters, in the Dutch colony Dutch Guyana or as it is called now "Suriname". This work was very dull and I got little help. Besides that non-academic trainees hated the academic ones and created an atmosphere full of intrigues. One day the director of the archive inquired about my progress and then said to me: “I am wondering why a young lady like you is doing this boring work! Wouldn’t it be more appropriate to start a family than to end up as archivist in a small dusty archive? In important archives we don´t give positions to married women since we run the risk that they leave us soon and then our training efforts were in vain.” I was astonished, but at least I knew what my career prospects were. Together with Willem I decided to quit the archive.
Interlude
While I was undecided about what I could do next to find a job, I did together with Willem volunteer work with dropouts. My task was to prepare small meals for them. As I had no intention to incite them to change their life, as others did, they spoke frankly about their daily activities. Once a girl confessed that she was in love with her pimp and would do everything for him. Some weeks later the sad news reached us that she was killed. But fortunately not everything was tragic in this centre and the dropouts enriched my Dutch with words I never dared to use.
Sometimes we were short of money so that I had to work. The work in a paper factory was the hardest one. They put me on an assembly line to cut paper, which was too fast for me. My hands blooded and the manager put it slower. But as I was on piece-wages I run the risk to earn very little. Before the end of every day some women with fixed jobs put discretely some of their piles to the mines. By this sympathetic gesture I earned sufficiently.
While I was undecided about what I could do next to find a job, I did together with Willem volunteer work with dropouts. My task was to prepare small meals for them. As I had no intention to incite them to change their life, as others did, they spoke frankly about their daily activities. Once a girl confessed that she was in love with her pimp and would do everything for him. Some weeks later the sad news reached us that she was killed. But fortunately not everything was tragic in this centre and the dropouts enriched my Dutch with words I never dared to use.
Sometimes we were short of money so that I had to work. The work in a paper factory was the hardest one. They put me on an assembly line to cut paper, which was too fast for me. My hands blooded and the manager put it slower. But as I was on piece-wages I run the risk to earn very little. Before the end of every day some women with fixed jobs put discretely some of their piles to the mines. By this sympathetic gesture I earned sufficiently.
Many important decisions were made but one fundamental aspect of our life was not well solved. We both wanted to do research but we were both disappointed about the work we were doing at this point. A change in this situation was still necessary.